Golden

Despite the inner groanings of millions of Texans, the air hasn’t turned yet. It’s a bummer, considering that this last week of September has historically flipped the page from summer to fall.

But a different kind of promise does hang in the air. One of hope and growth and forward motion.

I turn 29 today, which means it’s my golden birthday. *Cue Harry Styles 

I just got back from a week-long jaunt in England with my sister and cousin, and I’m still trying to comb through the thickets of my mind. What did I learn about the world? About myself? What did I see or experience that I’ll carry with me?

No clear answer comes to the surface. Only replaying images of ancient spires and stained glass windows. The feel of a hot cup of tea in my hands and a cool breeze off the Thames whipping my hair. The chatter of Brits helping the locals know where to go when the District line is out of commission on the Tube. The taste of cinnamon butter on a soft Lunn Bunn (if you know you know). The bell that rings as a mom and her young son scooter past us on the way to school.

I’m prone to insist that there’s some lesson to be taken away from everything in life—especially big life moments like trips abroad and birthdays. There must be some sort of call to improvement and growth…right?

Maybe so. But lately, I’ve felt the loving embrace of the Father, gently inviting me to simply receive the good gifts He’s given me—with wonder, with gratitude, with joy. Lord knows my arms aren’t big enough to hold all of them.

A self-righteous Pharisee rises up within me and insists that I have to earn these gifts, or at the very least, pay them back in some way. I don’t just feel this with God. I feel it in my Earthly relationships, who are consistently blowing my hair back with their unconditional love and grace, even when (especially when) I’ve messed up or fallen short or am simply too stretched thin to return the same level of generosity.

But a loved one recently summed it up perfectly and assured me, “McGee, I love you because I love you.” Nothing else to add, no asterisk with a footnote or caveat. No terms or conditions agreement. Just a gift.

So while I do have hopes and prayers for 29 and ways I want to grow, I think today I’ll just try to walk in the glory of it all. The wonder of living in a town I love, surrounded by people (near and far) who build me up, walking in lockstep with my King and Friend. Today I’ll step into a golden year with open hands.  

And maybe, just maybe, the air will turn.